A good piece of mail gets its message across in 10 seconds. Television gives you 30 seconds, maybe. We’re playing to the reptilian brain rather than the logic centers, so we look for key words and images to leverage the intense rage and anxiety of white working-class conservatives. In other words, I talk to the same part of your brain that causes road rage. Ross Perot’s big mistake was his failure to connect his pie charts with the primordial brain. Two years after Perot’s first White House run the GOP figured this out, and thus was born the “angry white man” and with him a 54-seat swing in the House of Representatives.
Tea Party - Confessions of a Tea Party Consultant - Rogues of K Street
Am I the only one who’s terrified by this?
There is much good advice that can be given to teenagers and people in their 20s and 30s.
But the best advice of all is this: don’t fuck conservatives, and especially don’t marry them.
Benefits include:
freedom from narrow definitions of gender that restrict your ability to express yourself but instead insist that you act your gender out as bullshit, baseless tradition dictates
not having to deal with a person whose guilt over perceived religious condemning of the ickiness and dirtiness of his own body makes him insist on doing it missionary style and then like crying afterward
and rejection of an entitlement mentality that enslaves a woman to housework regardless of her own desires and enslaves a man to corporate labor regardless of his own desires
recognizing the benefits of sex for pleasure and for procreation when both partners are ready, not just when the condom fails
recognizing that saying magic spells to fix your problems is a really stupid way to deal with mental illness or addiction
drinking, gambling, pornography, and smoking can be super fun if done in moderation and out in the open. Hiding things from the people you love is a form of lying, and lies lead to other lies, and if you date a conservative who hides and lies, before you know it, you’re Mrs. Ted Hagerty walking in on her meth-addled husband banging a gay prostitute with much more zeal than he ever banged you.
freedom from such bullshit phrases as “the liberal media” and “Hollywood values.”
free to relate to your partner as an equal, freedom to see flaws in socially engraned misogyny and racism and freedom to work with your partner to move beyond that way of thinking
freedom from super embarrassing gay sex scandals
freedom to give and to receive as much anal and oral sex as you and your partner see fit, as liberals do not believe sodomy to be an abomination and I’ve heard wonderful things about both.
(inspired by)
Essay:Marry a Conservative - Conservapedia
(via echtausdenbergen)
Read the “inspired by” source material after reading this. Then go fuck a nice, upstanding, wholesome, progressive young man or woman. You’ll thank yourself later.
