Posts tagged banter

You Give [Liberalism] A Bad Name

  • Charline: I'll defend Bon Jovi, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to him.
  • Devon: Funny, that's how I usually feel about the Democratic Party.

Don't Tell Ebert

  • Nicole: I never really understood video games.
  • Devon: They're like books, but you get to shoot people.

Dick Cheney is Always Relevant

  • DEVON: I have work at 6am. Occupational hazard of being a struggling artist type.
  • NICOLE S: I don't envy your hours but at least you don't have 100-hour weeks right? That's what future investment banker types have to look forward to.
  • DEVON: True. But don't you get a return on investment for your time with an early retirement?
  • NICOLE S: If you don't have a heart attack first from stress and lack of sleep, yes.
  • DEVON: Hey, Dick Cheney is still alive even though he literally doesn't have a heartbeat.
  • NICOLE S: Well, that's reassuring. I definitely forgot he was still kicking, so props to him.
  • DEVON: I don't think even death could keep Dick from kicking things.
  • NICOLE S: I see what you did there.

But Seriously—Fuck That Guy

  • NICOLE: This French douchebag called me ugly and then got mad that I didn't say thank you when he offered me a seat on the subway.
  • DEVON: Fuck him. Jesus, what the hell?
  • NICOLE: He thought I didn't understand French. He was mistaken.
  • DEVON: We built a Disneyland Paris. It's clear who won.

The Hazards of Caped Crusading

  • DEVON: The summer must really suck for Batman. I'm not just talking about having to wear all-black during a fictional New York City's heatwave. He also has fewer hours with which to patrol the night, since the days are longer.
  • NICOLE: Do you spend a lot of time thinking about these sorts of things?

Vulcanology

  • NICOLE: I'm studying volcanoes.
  • DEVON: I grew up in Hawaii, I know all about volcanoes.
  • NICOLE: Then can you teach me about volcanoes? Which ones are the dangerous ones?
  • DEVON: The ones that explode.
  • NICOLE: Goddamnit.

Liechtenstein

  • JACLYN: I just named every country in Europe, but I forgot Liechtenstein.
  • DEVON: Shucks.
  • JACLYN: What a random country.
  • DEVON: I wish somebody would just fucking annex them already.
  • JACLYN: Word.